Prayer #20 for Your Children: Their Future SpouseLord, please give my children wisdom and clear direction and discernment in their selection of a spouse so that they will not be unequally yoked and that their spirits will blossom in the love, care and fellowship with this person. Raise this future mate up from childhood to be a faithful follower of Christ, one who loves our family and cherishes our children with a whole heart.
I have been praying this prayer for my two sons since the week they were each born.
2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?
by Chapter 20: Twenty Questions
Elisabeth reviews the 20 questions that she asked her daughter Valerie to think about, discuss and answer before saying "yes" to her future husband. A very good list, I might add. Although it is written to a young woman, it is also suitable for men who are considering someone as a potential wife. Here they are for you...
- Is this the man you want to spend the rest of your life with? That's every day of every week of every month of every year from now till one of you dies.
- Is he punctual or habitually late?
- Is he orderly or disorderly?
- Is he a reader or a TV watcher?
- Is he an outdoor man or an indoor man?
- Does he like your family?
- Does he treat you as you think a woman ought to be treated?
- Does he have men friends?
- Does he have approximately the same education you have?
- Does he like the kind of food you like to cook?
- Does he come from a home similar to yours?
- Does he like your friends?
- Does he like to entertain?
- Would you be proud to have him as host at the other end of the table?
- Does he laugh at the same jokes you do?
- Can you agree on sex?
- Can you agree on in-laws?
- Can you agree on children and their training?
- Can you agree on money?
- Can you agree on your respective roles in the home?
Differences are OK, but you need to determine if they are a matter of contention or a matter of sin. Don't go into a marriage expecting your spouse to change in a particular way. We all change as we get older, but the basic character qualities need to be visible. It is mutual commitment to a common belief that is the only solid base for lasting communion, in marriage or in any other fellowship. Anything less will not stand the test of living.
Sometimes the questions are answered for a particular person but the time does not seem right due to a variety of circumstances. In that case, good communication and prayer together to seek direction would be ideal. In the interim, I always advise young (or old) men and women to not stop living and just wait, but to continue being who God designed you. Use your gifts, serve others, spend time with friends and even other people who have sought you out.
The Lord will provide a mate if that is His will, at just the perfect time for you. He always knows better than we do. I speak from experience here. I had some very special long-term relationships with young men when I was in college and into my 20's. Although fine men, had I married any of them my life would be SO much different than it is now, I would have had different children than the ones I have (a sad thought). Although I first met and dated my husband in my mid-20's, we broke up for 4 years and did not marry until I was 31. I'm glad that God had this plan for me because I am so happy with the family I have today. Thank you, Lord.
Sometimes the questions are answered for a particular person but the time does not seem right due to a variety of circumstances. In that case, good communication and prayer together to seek direction would be ideal. In the interim, I always advise young (or old) men and women to not stop living and just wait, but to continue being who God designed you. Use your gifts, serve others, spend time with friends and even other people who have sought you out.
The Lord will provide a mate if that is His will, at just the perfect time for you. He always knows better than we do. I speak from experience here. I had some very special long-term relationships with young men when I was in college and into my 20's. Although fine men, had I married any of them my life would be SO much different than it is now, I would have had different children than the ones I have (a sad thought). Although I first met and dated my husband in my mid-20's, we broke up for 4 years and did not marry until I was 31. I'm glad that God had this plan for me because I am so happy with the family I have today. Thank you, Lord.
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