Giving Thanks 2010 Revisiting 2009 and Continuing / Thanksgiving

My Thanksgiving list continues.  A review of my 2009 Blog post.

3. I am thankful for the gift of my two children, sons now aged 21 and 16, and that I have lived long enough to see them walking with the Lord.

Two sons...what a delight.  Like most women I expected to have a daughter in the family but how like God to bless me with two sons and prepare me for them ahead of time.  I played a lot of intramural sports in college via my sorority--flag football, basketball, softball.  This was great prep for having boys who love to be outside and play, throw the ball, climb monkey bars, play sports, etc.  (especially when younger). When my older son played Varsity basketball for high school I already knew all the rules and although I don't particularly enjoy watching football on TV, I know many of the rules for that sport as well.  :)  

My brother and I have been close all our lives.  Growing up, just being around him and his friends regularly always made me very comfortable talking with boys and men and just being myself.     We  have what I refer to as an "ongoing conversation".  When we're together we can talk about anything. Sometimes it's for a few minutes, sometimes for an hour. My husband is an only child and experienced a great deal of loneliness when he has growing up, so I am thankful my children have had each other.

I homeschooled my older son from grade 5 and my younger one from preschool to now (11th grade).  Looking back I am so glad that I did because with a 5-year age difference between them, in a public or private school setting, they would never have known each other.  For the most part they would have even been in different schools.  My older son lives in our city but away from home during the school year but how delighted I am when he makes an effort to spend time with his younger brother.  I am smiling now just thinking about that.  :)  He is even teaching Graphic Arts to his younger brother for one of his high school classes.  I pray with all my heart that they will stay close and be each other's best friends as they grow older and we are no longer here for them.

A few years ago I read two excellent books:  Wild at Heart and The Way of the Wild Heart both by John Eldredge (the latter being even better than the former).  I so wish I had read it when they were younger.  I was a changed mom after reading them and now really understand the "adventure" side of both them and my husband as well.    I have to remember that they are not little boys anymore and treat them with more respect as young men.    For you younger moms, to my surprise, that begins around age 12.

Although I'm still pretty safety conscious--always wear your seatbelt, don't drive too fast, don't talk on your phone while driving, be careful with sharp objects--I now generally just say (when I hear of plans for something kind of exciting and a bit risky, even like going up on our roof below) Oh, you're just being Wild at Heart.  They smile and know I understand their need for adventure.  I also smile back and then pray.  :)

Proverbs 23:25 

Let your father and your mother be glad, 

And let her rejoice who gave birth to you. 

FAMILY & FRIENDS: Love Between Brothers

Psalm 133: 1

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!

My older son (age 20) did something today that absolutely warmed my heart. He invited his younger brother (almost 15) to spend the day with him sometime this week. As you know, our older one moved out of our home to share a house with some college friends closer to school on August 1. The adjustment has been the hardest for me, but I think our younger son misses him as well. Although we see him every other week or so and talk or email even more often, it is not the same as him living with us and seeing him every day. I was just delighted when he invited his younger brother to spend some time with just him.

How did this happen? Why do they have a good relationship? There is a 5-year age gap between them, so there never has been what I would call sibling rivalry. The older one has always looked after and protected the younger one and I have always encouraged him to do so. They shared a bedroom when they were very young for 3 1/2 years. After that they have had their own bedrooms next door to each other. Homeschooling has helped tremendously since we would all be home together from the time my older son was in the 5th grade. They did field trips together, had many friends in common through our church and neighbors, ate almost all their meals together, played together and have enjoyed many of the same interests. We have never allowed them to roughhouse with each other as I have seen in other families. It's shocking for me to see brothers beat the tar out of each other and I don't think it's helpful to their relationship or with the rest of their families.

It has always been a "mission" for me for them to be at least as close as my brother and I are even to this day and we're in our 50's. I have specifically prayed for them to be good friends as well as brothers and also to love each other well. Parents usually die before their children and I have tried to instill in them that one day when they are older, they will probably be each other's best friend and thankful that they have each other, regardless of their own families. This is a legacy that I hope they instill in their own children. For now, I will just rejoice in their relationship. :) :) (Photo above is when they were 9 and 4 years old.)