It's been a long day. My brother is still here visiting and today's the day we decided to go together with my mother (82 years) to visit her doctor. She is approaching the stage of life where it looks to us like she may need some assistance in cleaning her apartment, getting transportation (she actually drives her car still even though we feel it may be unsafe), paying her bills, managing her finances, etc. My brother, my only sibling, lives in Texas and I'm the one here, so we have to divide up what we can each do. He is very generous and takes care of most financial payments of things that she needs; I will need to pick up many of the day-to-day decisions, some of the driving, etc. We have already determined that she cannot live with our family.
This is a familiar road for our family and thankfully, we have had an almost 5-year break from this type of situation after my husband's mother (96) and my father (84) both died in 2005. My husband's mother lived with us for her final two years which was very hard on my children and me. My husband was at work of course, so he missed much of the day-to-day frustration. My dad lived in the same city as us for four years but without a car, so I took him just about everywhere he couldn't walk to nearby. I have also managed the finances of several of my husband's elderly relatives over the years, grocery shopped for them and other errands, gathered all the paperwork for Medicaid and military insurance, qualifying income trusts, living trusts, wills, attorney visits, etc. I definitely have learned a lot about elder care and many options that are out there. I wish I could say I had a wonderful servant's attitude for all this, but that was not always the case. We all got through those times and have been so grateful to have a reprieve for the last few years.
Now, it looks as though it is my mom's turn. Our relationship has almost always been strained at best, but better over the last few years. I have to pray and remember during these next few weeks, especially, that:
I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)
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