March 15: Contentment and Your Marriage Spouse

CONTENTMENT SCRIPTURES

Titus 2:4-5 so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,  to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. 

Eph. 5:33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. 

1Pet. 5:8-9 Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.  But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. 

A contented wife receives her mate as a gift from God in spite of his:

...Differences

• gender
• perspectives
• temperament
• background
• roles
• preferences

...and Character Qualities

• disciplined vs. impulsive
• stubborn vs. flexible
• task-oriented vs. people-oriented
• pessimistic vs. optimistic
• decisive vs. indecisive
• spendthrift vs. miser
• affectionate vs. reserved
• idealistic vs. realistic...

[excerpted from Contentment: A Matter of the Heart by Karen Horsey / Karen's Kreations]

Notice that the list does not include kindness vs. abuse (physical or emotional), faithfulness vs. infidelity, or addictions or other forms of sin.  These can be causes for separation and sometimes, for divorce  but can also be forgiven over time so don't necessarily give up on a marriage due to these.  

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How on earth is it possible to find contentment with someone so different and to live with them for your lifetime?  Frankly, it's not earthly possible, but it is heavenly possible.  Marriage is a covenant commitment before God and usually, before many witnesses.  Bottom line which solves most marital issues:   The husband is to love his wife as he loves himself; the wife is to respect her husband.  Neither of these comes naturally to any of us.    

A few evaluation checkpoints:

• Does what you read or watch in the media encourage long-term marriage or are you bombarded with images that  lead  you to  desire someone else or stimulate lust for another?  
• Does your work environment promote a lifetime commitment or are there office affairs (emotional and/or physical)  going on all around you?  
• Are your MySpace or Facebook relationships with the opposite sex a little too friendly or are they purely platonic?  
• Do other couples and friends that you spend time with help your marriage blossom? or is wife/husband "bashing" a regular topic of conversation?
• Are you and your spouse a bit  too independent of each other as our culture promotes or do you make an effort to be united together?

Although this verse  refers to the wife, a husband can be just as responsible for tearing down the home.  Our differences make us interesting and are sometimes the reason we found our spouse so appealing in the first place. Just look at your assortment of friends and the variety of their characters.   It helps for Christians to remember that they are a picture to the world of Christ and His Church.  Our unity in Christ definitely holds our marriage together, sometimes when there is nothing else that does.   My husband and I could be  pretty much described by   the list above (with each of us on one "side" or the other), but we are united in the raising of our children and in our long-term goala, ideals and our ministries.   The list of adjectives can be positives if looked at from another angle, so don't take things that annoy you  at face value.   


Our marriage of 22+ years has weathered for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health, so I can speak from experience on these.  If you are on the edge of separation or even considering other relationships apart from your spouse, take a long hard look at the root causes and step back to see what good qualities exist  in your spouse [I did not say "significant other".]   People change and grow as they get older.  Give him/her some slack.  Put some cherishing and admiration back into your marriage.  It's worth the effort for yourself, your children, and those around you.