Valentines / Matters of the Heart / Looking Outward in the Same Direction / Growing Old Together

Valentines Quote for the Day:

Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.  -Saint-Exupery

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It's interesting where these quotes come from. I have heard this one before but never heard of Saint Exupery. Check out his link above.

Gazing at each other--I can picture a young couple in their teens or early 20s who can't keep their eyes  (and sometimes hands) off of each other.  I suppose I was like that at one time. Don't get me wrong.  I like looking at my husband and he likes looking at me, but just gazing seems a little strange at this stage of life.  The thought of gazing implies that you're not looking at anyone else, that your entire world is centered around one person.  The only Person it should be centered around is the Lord (He will always be there for you) and apart from Him no one else will.  

Couples always run into problems when one person of the other as being all in all or "everything in the world" to them.  No one should have to bear this burden.  And it really does become a burden once they realize that is how you think of them.  This is true of spouses, of parents with their children and/or grandchildren, best friends, any close relationship, especially as you get older.  Give them some space to grow and learn apart from you.  Then when you come back together, there are new and wondrous things to share with each other.   I was in a couples study group awhile back reading a book titled Lost in the Middle (Midlife and the Grace of God).  Some of the examples in the book and in our group were of people who had only one focus--the other person primarily, or their one "function"--their career or their children.  As these things changed and were no longer an everyday part of their lives, these individuals literally fell apart.

I love the part of this quote about looking outward together in the same direction.  My husband and I are as different as night and day.  He's the adventurer; I'm Mrs. Safety-Conscious.  He loves change; I love routine.  He looks at food as an experience in itself; I look at it as a way to stop being hungry and to stay healthy.  He likes sports cars; I love my station wagon. He can't sing a note on pitch; I am a singer and musician (although he does enjoy music and is a GREAT whistler).  The list could go on and on.  We do, however, both love our children and the Lord with passion and we both look in the same direction--watching them mature to manhood,  us faithfully growing old together, developing our own interests (and a couple of things we both enjoy together as well) and participating in our particular ministries as we age.  

What is your focus with your special someone?  You don't have to be exactly alike to have a good relationship but having a common focus toward your future is essential. And, there's no need to smother...